Go to Your Happy Place

You know what's really frustrating?!
When you step out, in faith, and answer a call you firmly believe is of the Lord
and Satan seems to be standing right there just waiting to knock you down!
That. Is. Frustrating!
Especially since when you're doing someone based on faith, it's
usually putting you out of your comfort zone in the first place,
and then you start doubting what you're doing
and who you are
and then you realize, 
"Hey! This is what they call being attacked spiritually!"

Now, I don't like to over-spiritualize things,
and I get very annoyed with people who use a spiritual metaphor
for every instance in their day!
"My coffee spilled on my shirt this morning. I think the Lord's telling me not to go to work."
Not. OK.
But I AM a firm believer in spiritual attacks,
and it's kinda sad to admit this, but
it's been a while since I've felt this.
 
A couple weeks ago I mentioned that Matt & I are the new leaders of the
Young Marrieds Life Group which we're so stoked about!
The Sunday after we accepted the position,
we went up for prayer and the main gist of the prayer is that we wouldn't
be spiritually attacked while stepping up to this leadership role.
And, of course, Satan likes to do the exact opposite of what we pray to the Lord for.
 
So, I've been noticing little things lately:
Me getting annoyed with Matt over little things.
Me calling Matt out on those little things.
Matt & I getting into it over those same little things.
Me crying and feeling like a victim in the situation.
Me pointing out to myself why I'm right.
Me thinking that Matt & I are a weird couple whom ppl won't like...
Which inevitably leads to me feeling fat.

Ha! That last one is for ALL women out there, b/c I sincerely believe
men can not possibly struggle with thoughts about their weight as much as women do.
It's like the extra cherry on top of a sundae of negativity when 
you start tearing yourself down.
 
So, the Lord and I had a little chit-chat on Monday.
I whipped out my journal and just said I was sick
of all the negativity.
Sick of being unhappy in situations where I'm clearly blessed.
Sick of looking for perfection our of my husband when I'm obviously not even close to that standard!
Sick of feeling bad when I don't cook.
And sick of constantly comparing myself to other women!
And I just made a pact that I was taking control of my thoughts.
Joyce Meyer speaks on it all the time, 
and it's just not worth it to nit-pick all the little things you're not happy with
when there's WAY more to be happy with!
And that's my soap box of the day.


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