The Hairless Heart

My personality type doesn't recognize April Fool's Day.

The only pranks I can remember pulling was in 4th grade.

Me and a couple friends decided it was a novel idea to turn the class clock forward to 3 PM even though it was only 10 AM. To this day, I still wonder why none of us were smart enough to just set it forward 10 minutes instead of a full five hours.

Perhaps, it was because we were 4th graders.

And the other prank was the typical chalk in the grooves of the felt eraser.

That one didn't pan out so well either. 

I guess when you've been a teacher for 15 years, you've already seen that one.

I will say I had never seen the one my husband pulled on me Monday night.

He came into our office during a pivotal and emotional point in Downton Abbey, 

but I paused it since he was acting funny.

He sat down beside me and asked a question I never want to hear from him again,

"What do you think about me getting hair plugs?"

Of course, I instantly started laughing KNOWING this was a prank.

He acted like he didn't know why I was laughing, and tried to be all serious about it.

He went on and on saying how we always admire our guy friend with longish, flowy hair and how he'll never be able to fix his hair ever again, and how he misses it.

"You know, they can pull it from any part of you body."

And in true Superman style, I look up to this.

 If only this was the end of it. I do believe the next chapter is worse.

So, he yells, "April Fool's!"

He was quite infatuated with how smooth it was in that hairless heart.

Hadn't he seen Seinfeld where Kramer says it grows back 10 times thicker when you shave it!

The next morning I glanced at him and saw a shaved chest.

I thought, "Thank goodness he got rid of that atrocity!"

But, no, he had created a worse one.

At least it's not dull at our house...