Where Did My Friends Go?




I've never been without people around me. I have 3 brothers who have 3 wives and 6 kids split between them all and one on the way. We all live within 8 miles of each other. I work with them. I go to church with them. I babysit them...not much, I admit. Needless to say, I always have family around me and I cherish that, but I haven't always had good girlfriends around me.

I always had girlfriends throughout elementary, junior high and high school. Then, in college, those girlfriends moved off and my friends turned into a slew of guys that I hung out with regularly. I was convinced they enjoyed my companionship for nothing else than good times and platonic connection. That was proven incredibly wrong when I got a boyfriend.

I was hurt over that transition. I missed my high school g/fs. I missed my guy friends who were awkward and distant now. I loved the sweet time with my boyfriend and that he was finally in the same city as me, but I missed the connection that reaches deep down into your female heart and joins with another who laughs, thinks, cries and feels as you do. Someone I can call at anytime and reminisce with, plan with, and connive with. Someone that can handle my brutal honesty and tell me when I'm faking it.

Don't get me wrong, I have a few good girlfriends who I can still call up and be real with, but they're married. Does it always change when you're married? Will I distance myself when I'm married?

I distinctly remember telling my dear friend not to change after she was married (which was about to happen the next day), and she said our relationship would change. It was inevitable. Her husband was to be #1 now. She was right. We changed.

Mom always said I must be a friend to have a friend. I should work on that. Because I want those friends again.

I don't like this blog. It's a bit too honest, but maybe in confessing this to the blogger world, the Lord will recognize my vulnerability and answer me. Until then, I have my b/f, my Basset, and my Shih-Tzu...even they are boys! Ugh, I can't escape the Testosterone!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Art of Talking to a Pregnant Woman

I have previously written about peoples' funny comments to me which I thought were endearing and quirky so far. This last week, some of those comments crossed into the "that's none of your business" category. Pre-pregnancy I never posted one picture or video of what I do at CrossFit. Frankly, it's awkward to me to ask my coach, "Can you video me making funny faces and grunting while lifting this man wight? Thanks." But since I'm still lifting and doing CF during my pregnancy, I am proud of myself and wanted to show "the world" (i.e. Facebook) what it looks like for a pregnant woman to do CF. (b/c it's becoming more and more comical) With my first video, I had all positive comments. Lots of women my age really wish they would've continued working out during their pregnancy and vow to do so the next time around. Lots of women were so sick, they couldn't even think of working out. Since I've had s
Read more

First Blog Ever!!!!!!!!

I have serious doubts about my current writing ability post-college; therefore, my first blog will consist of a story I wrote in my Creative Writing class my Junior year at Tech. Don't be concerned because of the seemingly violent nature of the story...it's just a story. I don't need therapy...anyway. Enjoy~ Sweat dampened Arria's flannel pajamas as her bed sheets tightened around her in a constricting hold. Arms and emotions flailed in a frenzy of anxiety and hatred. Yet amidst all the confusion, she held the gun steadily as he stood, hysterical before her. All the pain he put her through, all the love and despise that consumed her accumulated in this one moment, and just as she pulled the trigger… Arria bolted upright as she remembered the same dream, the same ending, and the same loneliness. Rain and ice pummeled the roof of her red brick house; held back only by the careless, overbearing oak trees. She stepped onto her balcony unaware of the ferocity of
Read more

Piercings, Puppies and Push-Ups

Image
Yes, it has been 2 months since I've written. No, I haven't been living under a rock during that time. I admitted at the beginning of this blogging adventure that I'm not consistent with it and that it overwhelms me.  For all those non-bloggers out there, blogging is challenging. I find that I look at experiences in the light of, "Oh, my readers would like this!" or "What have I learned from this that I can write about?" Obviously, it's much easier to just coast through normal, boring days and even eventful, trying days without a time of retrospection. So, I am coming forth and admitting that I have coasted through the last 2 months, but alas, I am ready to confront life again with an inquisitive mind! For many people, inquisition is natural. For me, Questioning is NOT the norm! I take them as they are, and rarely think of them again. I forget arguments Matt & I have once apologies and forgiveness are traded. Th
Read more