Where Did My Friends Go?




I've never been without people around me. I have 3 brothers who have 3 wives and 6 kids split between them all and one on the way. We all live within 8 miles of each other. I work with them. I go to church with them. I babysit them...not much, I admit. Needless to say, I always have family around me and I cherish that, but I haven't always had good girlfriends around me.

I always had girlfriends throughout elementary, junior high and high school. Then, in college, those girlfriends moved off and my friends turned into a slew of guys that I hung out with regularly. I was convinced they enjoyed my companionship for nothing else than good times and platonic connection. That was proven incredibly wrong when I got a boyfriend.

I was hurt over that transition. I missed my high school g/fs. I missed my guy friends who were awkward and distant now. I loved the sweet time with my boyfriend and that he was finally in the same city as me, but I missed the connection that reaches deep down into your female heart and joins with another who laughs, thinks, cries and feels as you do. Someone I can call at anytime and reminisce with, plan with, and connive with. Someone that can handle my brutal honesty and tell me when I'm faking it.

Don't get me wrong, I have a few good girlfriends who I can still call up and be real with, but they're married. Does it always change when you're married? Will I distance myself when I'm married?

I distinctly remember telling my dear friend not to change after she was married (which was about to happen the next day), and she said our relationship would change. It was inevitable. Her husband was to be #1 now. She was right. We changed.

Mom always said I must be a friend to have a friend. I should work on that. Because I want those friends again.

I don't like this blog. It's a bit too honest, but maybe in confessing this to the blogger world, the Lord will recognize my vulnerability and answer me. Until then, I have my b/f, my Basset, and my Shih-Tzu...even they are boys! Ugh, I can't escape the Testosterone!!!

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