92% Sure I'm Right

Good marriages are hard to make.
I know I'm no expert only 7 months in.
But I'm fortunate to have at least a little experience under my belt.
With all the differences in communication and habits and personalities and hormones
(probably more mine than his), it's a given that two people trying their darnest to make their marriage the best possible is going to be difficult.
What really gets to me is that Satan knows this too.
He didn't have to have a Mrs. Devil to figure out where to target us.
And while we are constantly working to respect each other and uplift each other and put the other person first, Satan is working his hardest to make our words stab each other to make us doubt each other and to point out why we should get our own way.
I wasn't as aware of this spiritual struggle until recently.
You see, in the first few months of marriage, 
you don't understand why everyone out there says marriage is hard.
You, honestly think your marriage is going to break the mold.
And you're pretty sure it's going to be like this forever.
And then, out of nowhere, you realize they were right; your marriage has to be fought for just as much as
everyone else's, and then you become acutely aware of the forces against you.
That's why I am constantly hit with the thought, "How do non-Christians do this whole marriage thing?!"
If there are just as many Christian marriages ending in divorce than non-Christian ones, 
what advantage are we supposed to have?
Are those false-professing Christians?
What is my marriage supposed to look like in comparison to the failed ones?

These are hard questions that I can't answer yet,
but I know that when my husband asked me to "trust him" when I was about 92% certain my way was better, there was a choice that had to be made.
And when a trip across the county together turned out to be incredibly difficult and trying, 
there was a choice to be made.
And when my selfish plans of a weekend away together turned into a time of serving others,
there was a choice to be made.

I find there are daily instances where I can make the choice to honor the Lord by honoring my husband
or to act like I did when I was single and focus on what I want.
Let me tell you, your natural inclination is to go the selfish route.
In fact, deciding to honor your husband is very much a struggle sometimes.
But I didn't have to honor my husband before b/c I didn't have a husband before;
therefore, I view this "struggle" as a new and beautiful gift which I want to cherish and keep.
I am being molded into a more lovely bride for my husband, a more devoted daughter of the Lord,
and an overall stronger person each time I decide against my flesh.
Lord, grant us the strength and perseverance and determination to be vigilant in our decisions!

P.S. My husband drove the whole 750 miles we traversed across Texas this weekend while I slept and read and closed my eyes in Dallas traffic. It will be very easy to honor him today!

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