Wedding Planner in the HOUSE!!!


It has been TOO LONG! And for that I apologize.
Apparently, this wedding business is time-consuming.
Like, seriously, I feel like I have taken on another full-time job.
Thankfully, my brothers are incredibly lenient with when I make appointments
b/c they usually end up bring during work hours...Go figure.
I have a different view of wedding planning than I did a week ago.
A week ago I wanted to be engaged FOREVER b/c I just thought it was so incredibly
fun to make all these appointments and talk about my proposal and wedding yada, yada, yada.

And then it HIT.

Ironically, I'm not sure what "it" was, but I freaked out.
I was shaky and nauseous and felt frail and incapacitated.
I couldn't complete a work-out session without passing out.
I cried at all hours of the day.
I couldn't focus on any one thing, and many things hitting at once made me cry again.
My head was floating in the clouds somewhere, but not Cloud 9.
No, it only stayed on Cloud 9 for 5 days and then it went to Cloud HELL!
Are you understanding me here?
I'm pretty sure these feelings are symptoms of panic attacks.
Maybe I'm completely mis-diagnosing myself, but I could NOT get a grip!
And the ironic thing was that I had everything planned.
I had planned my whole freakin' wedding in 2 weeks, and by the end I crashed.
Very fast and very hard.

So, now I feel like I'm recovering from surgery.
I only made three appointments this week.
I have cut my "David Tutera's My Fair Wedding" viewing to once a day.
I try not to make more than 2 major decisions per 24 hours.
I no longer work out in the mornings...and the evenings, b/c, obviously, that's ludicrous.
Oh no, but I thought it was a grand idea last week.

And let me not forget to add in there my anti-anxiety pill.
I'm afraid none of you will be able to buy it.
It doesn't come over the counter.
It is my very own personal prescription made out by the MASTER DOCTOR, himself!
Yeah, big time.
And it's name is...
Mr. Matthew Fraley-Nowacek.
As cheeseball as it may sound, he was the only person, thing, drink, etc. able to calm me down.
His presence is intoxicating to me.
I just want to wrap my arms around him forever and smell his sexy cologne,
and never let go of him. Ever.

I'm afraid not many people get to experience what Matt & I feel.
Even the ones that are married.
Which is sad, but makes me incredibly
GRATEFUL.
Grateful to my BIG DADDY for introducing me this witty, handsome, charming man
so many years ago and intertwining our paths so beautifully.
I am the happiest woman alive.

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