Give You a Break!!

One of the most important lessons I learned from life coaching during my divorce process was how to give myself grace. (Side note: life coaching is where people get certified to not "counsel" you but moreso ask you questions so that you can figure out how to get healthy on your own). I had no idea how hard I was on myself all the time. "You really should drink more water", "That laundry ain't gonna do itself", "Why can't you stay at your goal weight?", "You know, good moms cook more than once a month..." and it went on and on. All day. Constantly. When I first started talking to my coach, she caught onto this cycle very quickly. She urged me over and over, 

"You have got to give yourself some grace!"

Embracing this new habit as been one of the most liberating concepts I have ever learned. I never realized the level of perfection I demanded of myself until I came to a point in life where survival was the goal. There was simply no way I could be "perfect" like I though I was before. I was now a single mom with two little babies who were my sole responsibility.

My coach urged me to make a list of things that I enjoy doing and that energize me or ignite my passions. My listed included working out, journaling, listening to good music, being productive, etc. She then urged me to do at least one of these things everyday. While that seemed like a pretty easy way to begin, when you are creating a whole new normal for you and your children, easy is exactly what you need. So, I started downloading good music again and listening to it in the car, then I added in journaling, and then doing the laundry and ironing...every week or so adding on another thing. And it wasn't like I was adding 5lbs to my barbell to make my workouts harder, I was adding in things to my daily activities which I enjoyed and which made me feel better at the end of the day. Even as I write that, it seems so obvious: Do things that make you happy. But that is SO much easier said than done! When you are toting kids around for 3-4 hrs per day or working or exercising or cleaning house or cooking or thinking of the 1,000 little things that only you think about each day to make your family function, doing something you enjoy is the LAST thing on your list. But it is vital! I love the meme that talks about "take a bath, or drink wine, or go for a run, or plant a garden. Do whatever you need to do to be healthy because your family needs you healthy."   

And that's the goal of this little blog today. I've noticed with the craziness of school starting and Jack going to preschool four mornings a week instead of two, and Bible Study Fellowship starting up, and me continuing to work from home and work outside the home two days a week, and church Life Groups starting back that our little life looks pretty chaotic right now! A new routine is being figured out, and in the midst of that, the gym has been put on the back burner. And as much as I want to hate on myself, I MUST remember to give myself grace because a few extra pounds will come and go. My goal is to maintain a healthy mindset of me so that I can create a loving and nurturing home for Jack & Alice. They don't care if there's more cushion on my backside, but they will care if I yell at them for not getting in the car fast enough.

There is one little caveat I want to add in. "Do things that make you happy" is not the same as 

"If it makes you happy, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." I saw that on FB recently, and I just don't agree with that. I mean, snorting coke could make you happy, but it's still not something you should do! Doing things that make you a healthy/better version of yourself often has a negative connotation because it's viewed as selfish. But, ladies & gentleman, it's OK to be selfish every once in a while! Don't do things that make you happy to the detriment of others, but do them to better yourself; thereby, making you better for everyone around you!

1. Make a list of things you enjoy.

2. Do one of them each day.

3. Notice the Change.