Mommy Fail Numero Uno

I am well aware that I have yet to introduce my son to the blogging world,

but I just had to share my Monday morning with you.

I had a series of Mommy fails over the last two days.

My streak was great the first 7 weeks,

but I suppose the humility had to kick in eventually.

I started back to work last week, and it's been going really great.

The only thing I have yet to nail is arriving at work on time.

The first day I was about 30 minutes late.

My excuse was that I hadn't nailed down our morning schedule just yet.

But now, 1.5 weeks later, I still can't get out of the house on time!

Well, on Monday, I woke up right when my alarm went off,

got myself ready before the Today show even came on,

fed Jack at 7AM, pumped, and was all ready to head out the door

ON TIME!

As soon as I pick up Jack, I feel something wet on his back.

I flip him around to find that his adorable tie and suspenders onesie 

is covered with poop in the back.

AGGGGHHHH!!!!

Now, let me preface that by saying that newborn poop is yellow.

Daddy dressed him this day. :)

Like, mustard yellow, and it doesn't really stink yet,

BUT

it is an absolute nightmare to get out of fabric!

I have no idea why it's so potent, but several of his adorable

nighties have already been ruined by a bright yellow stain in the back.

I've tried soaking, scrubbing, stain remover, washing in cold water,

washing in hot water, everything!!!

So, his back is covered and I yell to Matt that his diaper had exploded!

In Jack's defense, we had recently graduated him to the size 2 diapers

thinking the 1s looked a bit snug.

Well, seeing as how there was a very small amount of poop actually in the diaper,

and that the majority of it had squeezed through the side onto his onesie,

I'd figure we made a grave mistake in changing his size.

So, I'm changing his onesie, wiping down the absolute mess, get him all cleaned up,

(absolutely flustered) and I look into the swing he'd been sitting in.

Yep, it is covered in poop.

Like, way more than what was on his onesie.

So, the white click straps in the swing are permanently dyed yellow,

and I'm sure that's disgusting to everyone else,

but to new moms, they will totally understand.

So, we finally make it to work.

(Still flustered by the way.)

And I decide to finish clipping Jack's nails.

I had done his right hand last week, but seeing as how he was screaming the entire time,

I saved his left hand for this week.

Now, non-parents, I want you to envision the tiniest nail

clippers and you trying to clip the tiniest nails you have ever encountered.

Not to mention that those little nails are connected to a moving target

that is NOT interested in holding still for this delicate procedure.

So, I get a good hold on his middle nail, I snip, 

and there's a moment of silence before Jack erupts in tears.

I have taken a chunk out of his finger!!!

I start crying immediately while trying to stop the bleeding

because it is gushing.

Gushing blood on a 7-week old is not exactly comparable to an adult,

but it seems waaaay worse because it doesn't clot like an adult.

It just kept bleeding and bleeding,

and Matt comes in because his son is making a new noise he'd never heard before,

and as he sees Jack crying and me crying, I look up and HE is crying!

I said, "Why are YOU crying?!"

"Because I've never heard Jack cry in pain before!"

And he'll kill me for telling you he was crying,

but he has such a soft heart for Jack.

I just held Jack and cried and felt absolutely horrible for causing him pain.

As the bleeding continued we started to freak out a bit.

Matt called the Dr saying the bleeding wouldn't stop.

Then, he called a nurse friend.

And of course, it eventually stopped, and we looked like crazy parents,

but that's what having a child does to you!

It turns completely logical, common sense adults

into clueless, paranoid overprotectors who call their pediatrician

when they clip their son's fingernails!

This blog has, once again, become WAY too long, so I will just say

stay tuned for Tuesday's Mommy fail because it happened again!!