Anniversary Tragedy

The nieces always lift up my shirt trying to find Jack.

At the beginning of pregnancy,

I find that there is a lot of excitement and anticipation about this new phase of life.

Then, as most things, you kinda get used to it.

Let me rephrase that, you accept it.

There's really no getting used to being pregnant.

Then, towards the 6-month mark, you wonder if you'll ever NOT be pregnant.

That's where I'm at right now.

I had an unusually uncomfortable night Tuesday night (which happened to be our anniversary),

and I cried to Matt about having to be pregnant for another three months.

Most of the time, three months seems like a very SHORT amount of time left,

but that night I wasn't sure I could make it.

And then I'm faced with the reality of it, once again.

There's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

I remember back when I came back from YWAM, and I had gained more weight than ever

before in my life.

I remember looking in the mirror and grabbing my love handles out of frustration,

but then I went to the gym and ate a salad for dinner.

With pregnancy, there's no proactiveness.

There's nothing to speed along the process.

There's just waiting and knowing that in the waiting process,

I'll only be getting bigger.

It's a very helpless feeling.

Now, I know this sounds very "woe is me".

I'm just being honest about where I'm at 28 weeks & 5 days into pregnancy.

I know once sweet Baby Jack is here, I'll forget all about this

and believe that it all "flew by", and I'll even be crazy enough to do it again!

I just pray it's nowhere in the next year...maybe 2.

By that time, I'll have REALLY forgotten about all this pregnancy nonsense.

My latest catastrophe was also Tuesday night (it was a very emotional evening.)

Matt & I had agreed we weren't buying each other gifts; we'd just allocate $$ that

each of us could spend on ourselves. Very romantic, I know.

I didn't even get the poor guy a card!!

Last year, I went all out and took awesome boudoir pictures by my awesome friend, Alex Blair. 

I put the pictures in an awesome book, and he still has an awesome time looking at those! :)

I even looked at the pictures the other day in amazement that my body used to look normal.

The one great thing that will come out of this (besides having a beautiful baby, of course) is that I doubt I'll ever look at myself as fat again as long as I'm not pregnancy-big.

Even during my boudoir session, I thought I could lose a few pounds.

No, no, I could lose a few NOW!!

Sweet Matt still had flowers, a card, canned peaches & chocolate turtles delivered to my work on Tuesday. For some reason, I have been obsessed with canned peaces during my pregnancy,

and who doesn't love chocolate turtles?!

For dinner, Matt made reservations at Las Brisas at 6:30PM so I would have time to come home and relax a bit after work. I started getting ready at 6 thinking that would be sufficient but grossly undermining the amount of time it would take me to actually find something fancy to wear to dinner. Thankfully, Matt had already anticipated this hiccup and admitted he had actually made the reservation for 6:45 knowing I would already need more time.

Dear, dear man.

The problem was not with my clothes, but with my shoes!!

I was so looking forward to wearing my beautiful Alaskan boots that had been waiting for me all summer, but when I went to put them on, they wouldn't zip over my calves!!

No worries, I'll wear my awesome snakeskin leather boots.

Same problem!!

In fact, ALL of my boots fared the same.

None of the dang things would zip over my calves, and I was defeated.

Not only has pregnancy stripped me of my ability to paint my nails

or fit into non-maternity leggings or shop for more than 3 hours at a time,

now I can't even wear winter boots this winter.

Whilst complaining to my Mom about it (Matt just wasn't recognizing the severity of this),

she reminded me that low boots are in style now.

Dear, dear woman.

I recognize that these posts might be frightening off single, newly married, non-knocked up women from ever venturing into the world of pregnancy.

Behold, I tell you,

"Do not fear!!"

Your pregnancy could be WAY worse than mine!!!

Ha, no I kid.

Women, for thousands of years, have traversed this unknown tundra called pregnancy, and survived.

Not only did they survive, they continued to do it, and that's how you're here.

                                            So, if they can do it, you can do it.

Jack already doing his part in the house. :)

We are really bad at staying current with these bump pics!

And so can I.